Why books with bullies?

Why bully books?

Because these bully books reflect what is happening in the lives of our young people, and using a bully book to start the discussion about bullying is better than having to discipline after a bullying event. And because we, the adults working in schools, need to raise our own consciousness about this very common problem.

And bully books are being published en masse.

But, before you use these books, you need to know the definition of bullying, which consists of these three parts

• The behavior is intended to harm or disturb, or the individual targets feels harmed, disturbed or embarrassed.
• The behavior occurs repeatedly and over time. (It can’t just happen once.)
• There is an imbalance of power (power based on size, age, social status, wealth, intelligence, appearance, wardrobe, just to name a few).

The old stereotypical bullying event usually contained a big kid standing over a little kid saying, “Give me your lunch money” If we look at the above definition, it is easy to see that the behavior is intended to cause harm, the little kid would not get lunch and possibly be humiliated publicly, That alone would not make it bullying, but it usually happens several times a week, and the imbalance of power seen in the size difference between a big kid and a small kid is obvious.

Name-calling, the most common form of bullying in children and adults, can be heard on school playgrounds or in middle school and high school hallways or in the workplace. The words hurt and are heard often, and are usually delivered by a person with power over the target.  Most people who are called names don’t tell anyone because they are embarrassed.

If two students who are friends have an argument that ends up in name-calling—that probably will not be bullying. They will resolve the conflict and continue the friendship. The words may have been intended to harm, but the event happened in one setting and between two equals.

Most people still believe the many myths about bullying.

• The bully usually has a poor self-concept—MYTH. The Elitist Bully or Social Climber Bully spends so much time thinking about him/herself, there isn’t any time left to think about others.
• Bullying will make the targeted child stronger—MYTH. Bullying can destroy lives. The word bullycide (also bullicide), being bullied to the point where killing oneself is the only perceived escape, has been added to our language.

New research on bullying tells us that this problem is not going away. Those of us who work with children of all ages need to educate ourselves.  For far too long school staffs have been correctly accused of doing nothing. THAT IS NO LONGER AN OPTION. Start by reading a bully book with your class so that you can encourage a discussion before you have to discipline the problem. Keep a list of bully books available so when you hear a kid is having a problem you can share that book. Literature has always been a bridge, and bully books can help targeted students, confused bystanders and even active bullies cross to a healthier place.

Latest Finds

November, December 2009

The Vast Fields of Ordinary by Nick Burd

The summer before college, Date Hamilton stops being used by a closeted star athlete and lets himself fall in love with Alex. A great coming of age and coming out story. Dial Books/Penguin, 2009. H

Bait by Alex Sanchez. Deigo

a kind and responsible young man, explodes with anger when someone refers to him with a homophobic slur. He knows he isn't gay, but with the help of Mr. Vidas, his P.O., Diego reveals his deeply hidden shame, his step-father had sexually abused him for years. Simon & Schuster, 2009. H

Rage: A Love Story by Julie Anne Peters

Johanna has never had a girlfriend but falls hard for Reeve Hart even with her violent behaviors. Johanna think she can love her out of the violence but quickly becomes tangled in an abusive relationship. Alfred A. Knopf/Random House, 2009. H

Rage: Brutal by Micahel Harmon

Poe Holly, an out-spoken punker, transfers to an elitist school that validates students who are privileged students but does not protect those who are bullied. Poe feels the need to point this out at every opportunity, which doesn't win her many friends. Alfred A. Knopf/Random House, 2009. H

Hate List by Jennifer Brown

Valerie and Nick were having a nice morning but as they are crossing the Commons, Nick pulls out a gun and starts shooting—aiming for everyone on their hate list. After Valerie gets shot trying to stop him, Nick kills himself. This incredible book tells the story through Valerie’s return to that high school and flashbacks to events leading up to the shooting. Little Brown, 2009. M/H